


For Example, Hate Sex

by lady_krysis (saekhwa)



Category: Glee
Genre: M/M, Male Protagonist, POV Male Character, Ridiculous, Wordcount: 1.000-5.000
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-05-25
Updated: 2010-05-25
Packaged: 2017-10-09 17:27:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/89859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saekhwa/pseuds/lady_krysis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's called hate sex, emphasis on the sex.</p>
            </blockquote>





	For Example, Hate Sex

**Author's Note:**

> For [](http://lunesque.dreamwidth.org/profile)[**lunesque**](http://lunesque.dreamwidth.org/), whom I sweetly asked, "Please write Will/Bryan for me?" only for her to somehow con _me_ into writing it instead. I don't know how this happens. Spoilers for episode 1.19. I can't take Bryan Ryan seriously.

Will looks pissed and kinda hurt when Bryan makes his announcement to slash the Glee Club budget, and Bryan kind of—oh, who is he kidding—He finds it absolutely delicious. Like a good cream cheese danish, the thought of which makes him hungry. But that can wait, because he wants to feast on Will's pouty, angry, indignant face and follow it up with lots of finger licking afterward.

"Please, Bryan, don't do this," Will says for the hundredth time.

He could say it times infinity, but Bryan isn't going to budge on this or give the Glee Club its budget back. Suck on that, Will Schuester, he smugly thinks as he folds his arms across his chest.

"I'm afraid I can't do that, Will. It's better that I crush their dreams into sawdust now before they really start thinking they have a chance."

"What's it going to take to convince you that these kids _deserve_ this opportunity? Maybe they won't all grow up to be stars, but don't take this away from them before they have a chance to try."

"Sweet, Will, really."—Not—"Your performance is a little lackluster, but I know I can't expect greatness from a high school teacher." Bryan quirks a brief smile, drops it, and perches on the desk. "So how about this? Have you ever heard of hate sex?"

"Wh—" Will's mouth works open and closed for several seconds before he finally manages the half-formed, "What?" that he started with.

Bryan sighs. Sue was a lot easier and a lot less dense than Will is being right now. "Hate," Bryan says slowly, drawing the vowel out to make sure Will catches it this time, "sex." Will still looks clueless or flabbergasted or just plain dumb, so Bryan slides off the desk "You know, the down and dirty, the nitty gritty, the _nasty_ thing?" Then Bryan has a sudden thought and makes a face. "You're not still a virgin after all these years, are you?"

"Wha—No. No, I'm not!"

Bryan holds up his hands. "Hey, no need to get defensive. I know virginity is the new"—He makes air quotes—"_in_ thing these days. It's noble, really. Almost romantic, saving yourself for the right person to come along. It's a pledge, right? Like joining the Boy Scouts?"

"I'm not a virgin, Bryan. I just can't—I can't _believe_ that you're trying to bribe me with-with _sex_." Will half hisses, half whispers the last word, and it makes Bryan chuckle a little at how adorably naïve Will still is after all these years. It's almost cheek-pinching worthy.

"Oh, Will, this isn't a bribe. It's a negotiation between two grown men who happen to have opposing goals. I want to plunge the Glee Club into utter ruin, and you want to stop me. It's a perfect setup for hate sex. Toss in a few insults and some righteous, indignant anger, and it'll be hot."

Will still looks like he can't get a clue to save his life, and Bryan thinks he might have to proceed to the 'gloriously naked' stage of this plan, _which_ they should have been at, oh, about five minutes ago.

"Aren't you _married_?" Will asks.

Bryan shrugs out of his blazer. "Yes, but I would really appreciate it if you kept my wife out of this. Insult me to your heart's content, but Maggie is a sweetheart. If you start insulting her, you might get a punch to the face instead of a blowjob."

Will's cheeks turn red at that, and Bryan smiles as he unbuttons his shirt. He'd bet the McKinley High School parking lot that Will really is a virgin despite his delicate protestations to the contrary.

"Wh—Why are you _undressing_?" Will stammers and stumbles back, collapsing into the chair behind him.

"Hate sex, Will," Bryan patiently repeats as he drapes his shirt across the desk. "We need to start going at it like bunnies of the super horny variety. I have a meeting in fifteen minutes." Bryan props his hands on his hips and looks Will up and down "So furious handjobs or impassioned blowjobs? Keep in mind deepthroating's not really my thing—sensitive gag reflex, you understand—_but_"—He glances down at Will's crotch—"I don't think that will be a problem. I'm hung, though. _Like a horse_."

Will's face turns a brighter shade of red, and he looks sort of like he's choking, so it looks like blowjobs are definitely out. Not a problem. Bryan keeps his hands well-lotioned for just such an occasion. He slinks into Will's lap, hampered somewhat by the chair, but hate sex isn't supposed to be elegant; it's supposed to be hot.

The kiss isn't a total disaster, and for a brief moment of perfect stillness like a rad falsetto, it's almost good. Until Will starts talking again.

"I can't—_We can't_ do this, Bryan. This is—I have no idea what this is."

Bryan thinks he's going to have to start spelling things out for Will Schuester, starting with the letter H.

"I know what you said," Will hastily interrupts. "I—Can you please get off my lap first?"

"This is counterproductive to the plan," Bryan sighs, but slides off Will's lap. "Unless you want to be on top? I think I can roll with that—"

"No!" Will says, high and choked, his eyes big and wide and sort of cute in a shocked cartoon character kind of way. "I mean—This is really—" Will closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. Then he looks at Bryan and leans forward. "We can't do this. _I_ can't do this. It's—It's unethical, for one—"

"And immoral and makes Jesus kill kittens, blah, blah, blah."

Will gives Bryan a sidelong look, mouth open in the middle of some verbose speech, Bryan's sure of it, and then Will snaps his mouth shut and shakes his head. "No, it, uh—This just doesn't feel right."

"The dirty-bad-wrong-but-ridiculously-_hot_ is kind of the point." Bryan sighs and rests a hand on Will's shoulder, giving it a manly squeeze that he hopes will set Will a little at ease. "Look, Will, I've been madly in love with you since high school."

Will does his puckered fish face again and exclaims a choked, "What? But-But—"

Bryan holds up a hand to spare them both Will's inarticulate stammering. "Yes, I stole all your girlfriends, but that was only because I wanted to get closer to you and because you were kind of a loser and made it really easy." Bryan slides back into Will's lap, skimming his fingers around to lightly grip Will's nape. "Insulting your vocals, your choreography, and even your ridiculous hair was my way of vying for your attention. We do desperate, ludicrous things when we're young and in love. I don't think you can fault me for my past. I've led a hard, hard, life, Will, but I've managed to maintain my good looks and talent for this very moment."

Bryan kisses Will again, but the guy is as stiff as an unconscious blowfish and Bryan is on a very tight schedule.

"You're good, Will Schuester, winning my confession like that," Bryan says with a laugh, staring down into Will's face. "So how about we reconvene at two o'clock and commence with the delirious amounts of sex of the hate kind or the unresolved sexual tension variety. I'm not picky."

"But—What about the Glee Club?" Will finally stammers out after Bryan stands.

"What about it? It's going down or you're going down. You have to pick one." Bryan glances at his watch and grabs his shirt. "Think on it, Will. Sexual favors are totally in vogue these days." Bryan grins as he slips his blazer back on. Will still looks like he's choking on air, so Bryan sighs and pats Will's cheek. "Plus, I heard through the grapevine that you're a man-whore anyway, so this should be easy for you. See you at two."

Bryan kisses the corner of Will's mouth and then strolls out the door and down the hall, whistling "You're the Top" from _Anything Goes_ because impending victory is delicious.


End file.
